AFSOS KE PANNO SE (STORY)

Pyar tab nahi hua tha, jab tumhe pehali baar dekha tha. Pyar toh tab hua tha jab lagaa ki ye aakhiri mulakat hai. Jo lamhe sath beet-te the wahi lamhe jab alag alag mile tab jaakr  jana ki tumhare bina kuchh bhi pana mumkin nahi. Pehali mulakat ne khushi di ho ya na di ho ,aakhiri mulakat me itni takleef hogi mujhe andaaza bhi nahi tha.

Pyar tab nahi hua tha, jab tumhare sath din bhar shehar ki sadakein naap rahaa tha.Pyar toh tab hua jab raat ko aakhiri baar tumhe apni manzil pr chhoda tha. Wo mausam mere zehan me aaj bhi zinda hai. Rikshe wale se tumhara wo mol-bhaav mujhe aaj bhi yaad hai.Muje lga tha tum sirf mujh se hi behas karti ho.Shayad hi koi sardi aisi aye jab mujhe uss halki halki thand me rikshe ki wo thithuran yaad naa aye.

pyar tab nahi hua tha jab tum facebook pr kabhi kabhar yunhi  online mil jaya karti thi. Pyar toh tab hua tha jab arsey baad maine humari puri conversation ek sath padi. Kaisi kaisi baatein karte the na hum. Naa sir naa pair. Bak bak bak bak.Pr khush the hum.

Pyar tab nahi hua tha jab tumne mujhse kaha,’ tum acha likh lete ho’. Pyar toh tab hua tha jab meri har ghazal tumhari shaql lene lagi. Kagaz pr utaara har ek lafz tumne hi mujhe saunpa hai.Waqt laga mujhe samjhane me.

Mujhe afsos hai, pehali mulakat me hath milaya ho na ho, aakhiri mulakat me jarur milaana chahiye tha . Chahker bhi mai khud ko tumhe pyar karne se rok nahi paya. Aur fir chaah kar bhi tumhe bataa nahi paya.Haan afsos hai mujhe iss baat ka.

Mujhe afsos hai , halki halki baarisho ke uss mausam me kitni khubsurat lag rahi thi tum, kash tumhe btaya hota. Tumhe dekhkar wo ek geet jo baar-baar zehan me aa raha tha ,kash gungunaya hota.

Mujhe afsos hai, facebook se jaldi offline ho jane ka,sirf yahi soch kar ki kahin mai tumhare aur kareeb naa ajaun. Kareeb aakr dur jana, dur reh kar dur jana, Takleef dono me hi hai, mgr afsos sirf ek me.

Mujhe afsos hai, ye nahi keh pane ka ki ye meri gazal mere geet ye sab tum hi toh ho,mai nahi. Mai aur meri kalam dono maamuli hain. Tum ho wo khaas cheez  jise sunkr log waah waah karte hain. Mai toh sirf takhallus me hu, har misre me toh tum hi tum ho.

Pyar tab nahi hua tha,uss trip me jab mujhe chhod kar baki sabhi ko kahin naa kahin jana tha. Pyar toh tab hua tha jab sabki perwaah kiye bagair tum mere sath hotel me ruki rahi.Dhakke maar maar kr tumne mujhe nahane bheja tha. Aur haan uss dauraan tum wo jo apna favourite song sun rahi thi wo mera bhi pasandeeda hai.Pr mai ye bta kar tumko,tum se jyada khud ko,yakeen nahi dilana chahta tha ki tum aur mai ek jaise hain.

Wo ek zulfon ki dori jo tumhare chehare pe utar aai thi maine anjane me hataane ki koshish ki thi.Tab mujhe ehsaas hua tha ki schmuch tumhari maujoodgi se mere hosh gair-hazir ho jate hain. Tum toh itminaan se khud ko apne libaas me pesh karti thi lekin mai nakaab dhundhta tha,iss darr se ki kahin mere chehare se mai bayaan naa ho jaun.Jo baatein shayd tumhare liye khatm ho gai hain wahi baatein mere pass na jane kitni baar laut laut kar aai hain.

Pyar tab nahi hua tha jab hum unn meelon faili sadko pr ek shaam sath chal rahe the. Pyar toh tab hua tha jab hum chalte chalte rasta bhatak gaye.Tumhe yaad hai ki tumne usse theek pehale kya kaha tha? Tumne kaha tha ki tumhe rasta pta hai.kitna hanse the hum iss baat par.Ab pta nahi kyu toh sahi rasto pr chalkar bhi khushi nahi mil pati. Kyun toh manzil-dr-manzil koi rahatein nazar nahi aati.

Aur haan!pyar tab nahi hua tha jab achanak sadak paar karte hue tumne mujhe rok lia tha,wo tezi se daudti laal car mujhe dikhi nahi thi.Pyar toh tab hua tha jab sadak paar karte karte tumne mera hath thaam lia tha.Pta nahi tumhe mehfoos hona tha ya mujhe mehfoos karna tha.

Pyar tab nahi hua tha,jab mai uss sarabor fountain ke sath tumhari photos kinch rahaa tha. Pyar toh tab hua tha jab tumne camera kisi aur ko pakda kr mujhe bhi frame me kheench lia tha.

Aaj palat kar piche dekhta hun toh afsos hi dikhta hai.Mai hi tha jo tumhe apni zindgi me lane se katra raha tha. Haan mai hi tha jisne tumhe bhi aisa karne se roka tha. Uss din tumne kaha tum mujhse pyar karti ho, yahi mujhe bhi kehna tha. Pr mujhe apne pyar se jyada haalaaton ki fikar thi.Mujhe nahi pta tha ki meri zindagi mujhe kis taraf le jane wali hai. Mai swarthi ya matlabi nahi tha, bas bahut kamzor tha. Mujhe bharosa nahi tha khud pr. Maine socha Mere sath tumhare wo sapne kabhi pure nahi honge jo tumne sanjoye the. Mera rasta mujhe humesha mushkil hi dikhai diya.Mujhe tumhe apne safer me shamil karne ki himmat nahi thi. Pr aaj lagta hai ki tum kamzor nahi thi. Tum me mujh se kahiin jyada hausala tha. Hausala tha pyar karne ka, hausala tha ye sweekar karne ka. Waqt laga mujhe ye samjhne me ki tumhare bina kisi manzil pr pahunchane se kahin behtar tumhare sath ajnabi raahon me bhatak jana hai.

Mujhe pta hai itne saalo baad ye baat kehna  raakh me aag jalaane jaisa hai. Magar mujhe iss gunah se koi parhez nahi. Ye gunah uss bojh ke samne kuchh bhi nahi jo itne saal maine apne seene pr laadha hai. Aur mujhe ye bhi pta hai ki meri wajah se tumhe kitni takleef uthaani padi hai. Tumhara gunehgar hu mai,mai manta hun. Pr ek baar tumhara samna jarur karna chahta hun. Chahe tumhari nafrat hi jhelne, ek baar tumse milna chahta hu. Do hi suratein hain mere paas , ya toh mai in afsos ke panno ko jala dun ya yunhi humesha ki tarah inki lgaai aag me jalta rahun. Raakh hone se pehle mujhe itna hi kehna hai ki ho sake toh maaf kar dena mujhe. Aur agar na kar sako toh chahe umar bhar badduaon me yaad karna magr chup mat rehna. Lafzon ki chot se kahin gehari Chuppi ki takleef hoti hai. Tumse behtar ye baat aur kaun samjh sakta hai.

Oh!maaf karna!Barso baad bhi tumhe rulaane hi aya hun .Wada karta hu aaj ke baad kabhi nahi rulaunga.  Bas ek baar aur mujhe muskurane ka mauka de do.

Acha suno…. Ek jaruri baat toh puchhna hi bhul gya.

Shadi wadi toh nahi kar li na!!

Nahi! Tumhe ache se janta hun mai. Tum apne wade nahi todhti.

Tumhare reply ka intzar rahega. Ho sake toh mt karwana intzar.

Tumhara…. Gaurav.