APRADH-BODH (STORY)

Tiranga lehra raha tha. Rashtriya-gaan ko suro me dhaalne ki koshish ki ja rahi thi. Gaan khatm hua. Sab apni apni jagah baith gaye. Principal sir ka bhaashan shuru hua. Lekin ant kahin nazar nahi aa raha tha. Bachche baithe baithe oongh rahe the,kuch ek teacher bhi. Dheeraj ki aankh khuli.

“Hume apna mulyankan karne ki awashayakta hai” maalum padta tha ki aaj sirf principal sir ki hi azadi ka din tha.

Dheeraj ne idhar-udhar dekha ki kahin kisi ne jhapki lete dekh toh nahi liya. Anmol sir ko brabar apni hi ore dekhta paya. Dheeraj ne nazrein chura li. Fir chor nazron se dobara confirm karne ke liye unki taraf dekha. Haan wo use hi dekh rahe the. Unhone dheeraj ko wahin se khade uthne ka ishara kiya. Dheeraj darr gya. Chehare ke 12 bajj gaye. Usse khada nahi hua gya. Agle hi pal usne dekha ki Anmol sir uski tarf bade aa rahe hain. Usne principal sir ke bhaashan ko sunne ki koshish ki. Sunaai de raha tha magar samjh kuch nahi aaya. Anmol sir kareeb pahunch gaye. Iss baar ke ishare se dheeraj ko majburan uthna hi pada. School ke sabse khatrnak teacher mane jate the Anmol sir. Bachcho ne unka naam haiwan rakha tha.  Dheeraj ko zara si bhi reham ki ummeed nahi thi. Lekin ek teacher ko pta hota hai ki kabki kasar kab nikaalni hai.

“Jakar paani pi le” apni chir-parichit khushk awaz me unhone kaha.

Dheeraj raffu-chakkar. Nind toh waise bhi bhaag chuki thi. Khanapurti bhar ke liye chehare pr chheente mare. Paani piya. Jee bhar kr angdaaiyan-ubaasiyan li. Wapis apni jagah pr jana tha. Tabhi uski nazar zameen pr pade ek jhumke pr padi. kareeb jakr dekha. Jhumka Behadd khubsurat tha.  Use tab tak sone ki pehchan nahi thi lekin use dekhte hi maalum padta tha ki ye sona hi hai. Gol taar pr tiki ek latkan, jis pr sone ki hi kuchh nazuk pattiyan jadi hui thi. Aise maalum padta tha jaise kisi jami hui barf ki nok se kuch boondein tapak rahi ho. Usne jhumka uthaya aur uss pr hath ferne laga. Sone ki chamak uski aankhon me ghar kar gayi. Use jhumka itna sundar laga ki ise lautaane ka khayal badsurat lagne laga tha. Usne jhumke ko jeb me daalne se pehale idhar-udhar dekha. Khuda ko toh khair kya shaamil karna lekin kisi insan ne use aisa karte nahi dekha tha. Jitni jaldi ho sake wo apni jagah pr aakar baith gaya. Usne Anmol sir ko dekha jo ki uski taraf hi nazar dale the. Nahi! Unhone nahi dekha! Dheeraj ne khud se kaha.Uske baad jitni baar bhi wo Anmol sir ki taraf muda use laga ki wo usi ki taraf nazar gadaaye hue hain. Darr ka ehsas dheere dheere ubharne laga.Shareer shayad kaamp raha tha. Fir use laga jaise ye uska wahem ho, halchal toh mann ke andar thi. Usne aankhein band kar li. Mann ki uthal-puthal  tasveerein aankhon ke samne ubharne lagi. Laga jaise  baahar sare use hi dekh rahe ho. Laga jaise Kisi shuturmurg ki tarah wo apna sir reath me gadaye baitha ho aur chhupne ki bharsak magar bekar koshish kr raha ho. Ekaa-ek usne aankhein khol di. Idhar-udhar dekha.kisi ki bhi nazar uss pr nahi thi. Aur jiski nazar thi wo bhi shayad isiliye kyunki wo khud unki taraf dekh raha tha. Usne jeb ke baahar se hi tatol kar dekha. Jhumka abhi bhi andar maujood tha. Iss baar ubharne wali tasveer Jhumke ki thi. Bas fir kya tha? Pakka irada kar liya ki ab chahe jo ho jaye ye jhumka uske sath hi jayega.

Irada toh kar liya lekin ek ek pal kaatna mushkil ho gya tha. Iss firaaq me tha ki kab school function khatam ho kab jaan chhoote. Dheeraj ko pta tha ki jo wo karne ja rha hai wo sarasar galat hai, paap hai lekin ye paap uss keemat ke badle use manzur tha jo iss jhumke ke badle milti.

Dheeraj ghar pahuncha. Jhumka abhi bhi jeb me hi tha. Kamre ko andar se band karke darwaze ke sath hi peeth tika kar khada ho gya. Jeb me hath daal ke pure ehtiyat se jhumka baahar nikaala. Kitna khubsurat tha wo jhumka.

“kya keemat hogi iski?” shaam ko mandir ke piche wale maidan me baith kar usne apne doston se pucha.

Raju aur Hemant Dheeraj ke pakke dost the. Teeno school me bhi sath padte the.  Ek nazar jhumke ko dekh kar wo dono Dheeraj ko ghurne lage.

“ kiska hai?” Raju ne shak bhari nazron se dekh kar swal kiya.

“school me. Nalke ke paas pada tha. Mujhe nahi pta kiska hai.”  Dheeraj ne jhumke ko chhanchhnate hue kaha.

“  toh sath kyu le aya?” Hemant ke lehze me laanat thi.

Dheeraj chid gya.

“ lawaris padi thi. Maine socha isko bech ke hum scooter chala sakte hain. Socho kitna petrol ayega. 2-3 mahino tak mauj hi mauj..” Dheeraj ko pta tha ki chot kahan karni hai.

Paas me hi retired postmaster ka ghar tha. Unka khatara scooter yunhi pada rehta tha. Retirement ke baad Uncle ka yahan wahan jana bhi kam hota tha. Teeno unki scooter kabhi maangkar toh kabhi chupke se le jate. Aur der raat tak idhar udhar scooter daudaate rehte.Lekin dikkat ye thi ki petrol khareedne ke paiso ka rona humesha shauk pr bhaari pad jata tha.

Dheeraj ki daleelein lubhavani thi. Aur akhirkar Raju aur Hemant ki jubaan par bhi fayde ki sunehari resho ne lagaam baandh di. Unki nazar me ye dheeraj ke khaate ka paap tha.

Halanki dheeraj ka irada loha bann chuka tha. Lekin aag ki koi tapish thi jo us lohe me brabar sendh daal rahi thi.

Shaam dhalne ke sath sath na jane kyun hausla bhi dhalne lga. Aaj sab kuch waisa nahi lag rha tha jaisa roz use mehsus hota tha. Nadi ke kinare ne aaj nahi lubhaya. Logon se waise nahi mila jaise roz mulakat hoti thi. Deewar-ghadi ko isse jyada pehale kabhi nahi ghura tha. Maa se nazar nahi milaai gai, raat ko papa se baatein bhi nahi ki. Agar inhe pta chal gya toh? Rooh kaamp uthi thi uski.

 Raat bhar neend gaayab rahi. Aankein dukhne lagi, sir chakrane laga, magar neend ne toh jaise aankhon se bagawat hi kar li thi.  Pakde jane ka Darr, scooter ka laalach, mauj ke liye apni nazar me gir jane kaafsos. Na jane kitni tarah ke khayalon se do-char hona pda. Antarmann se guttham- guttha hote hote uski subeh ho gai.

School nahi ja paya Dheeraj. Maa se kaha ki pet me dard hai. Fir ek baar ghar ki dehleez bhi laanghi bazaar jane ke liye magar 10 kadam se jyada durr nahi ja paya. Kal wo khud ko chor nahi maan raha tha lekin aaj khaufzada tha.Shaam ko Raju aur Hemant mile. Baaton baaton me unhone jhumke ko bech kar milne wale paiso ko hath bhi lgaane se inkaar kar diya. Aur toh aur aaj Dheeraj ki daleelein bhi kaam nahi aayi. Pta nahi wo dono pakka irada karke aaye the ya aaj dheeraj ke hausle past the. Usne jyada koshish bhi nahi ki. Ya yun kahein ki kar nahi paya.

Fir wahi raat ka silsila. Maa ko yakeen aa gya tha ki dheeraj ki tabiyat sachmuch bahut kahrab hai. Dheeraj chupchap aansu bahata raha. Aaj toh maa ko gale bhi nahi laga sakta tha. Chor kehlana nahi chahta tha lekin pta tha ki ye chori hai.

Agle din maa ne school jane se roka. Lekin Dheeraj chala aya. Ghar par kisi ko kuchh bhi batane ki himmat nahi hui. Aaj apne sabse pakke doston pr bhi bharosa nahi ho pa raha tha.Raju aur Hemant ko iss jhumke ke bare me pta hai, kahin unhone kisi ko bataya toh nahi hoga! Ye sawal baar baar dimag ke kono se takra kar use aur jyada pagal kiye ja raha tha.

School pahuncha toh praan sookh gye. Aabha Mam ke jhumke ki gumshudi ka notice laga tha. Aaj nahi, pichhale kal ka. Dheeraj ko samjhate der nahi lagi, Raju aur Hemant ke pichhe hatne ki wajah. Wo sawal jo unki dosti ke bharose ka imtihan maang raha tha, jawab pane laga tha.  Notice Board ke samne jyada der khada nahi raha gya usse. Haalaat ye the ki seedhi aankh notice board ko bhi nahi dekh pa raha tha. Jab tak wo parchi wahan lagi thi, yun lagta tha mano har koi bas chor-chor chilla raha ho. Do din ho chuke the. Kaise jata wo Aabha Mam ke paas. Kya kehta? Agar mila toh kahan hai jhumka?  Ghar pr kaise pahuncha? Kal toh ek aur din jud jayega.  Raju ya Hemant me se kisi ne kahin kuch bol diya toh? Kya pta ab tak bol bhi diya ho. Waise wo inn pesh aane wale haalaaton se anzaan nahi tha. Lekin use inki bhyaahwata ka andaza nahi tha.   Anmol sir ki pitaai ke khayal bhar se uske paseene chhootne lage.Ab sab kuchh yaad aane laga tha. Aabha mam use kitna pasand karti hain. Wo khud bhi Aabha mam ko bahut manta tha.Kitni badi galti ho gai usse. Uska halak sookhne laga tha . Aaj school se tabiyat ka bahaana bnakar ghar laut aya. Khana peena choot gya. Agle teen din school nahi ja paya.

Subeh utha toh kya dekha ki Aabha mam aye hain. Dheeraj ki roolaai futne wali thi. Bas intzar me tha ki kab Aabha Mam shikayat karein aur wo chupchap apni partein udhadta hua dekhta rahe. Koi safai nahi, koi wajah-rasta nahi khud ko begunaah saabit karne ke liye. lekin Mam ne kuch nahi kaha. Bas haal-chaal pucha aur chali gai. Unhe kuch nahi pta tha. ‘Chor ki daadhi me tinka’,  ye kahawat dheeraj ne uss umar me charitarth hote dekhi jab chehare pr jawani ki komplein bhi nahi footi thi. Isse pehale bhi Aabha Mam ayein hain jab kabhi Dheeraj bimar pada hai. Lekin pehale ki tarah aaj usne acha bilkul bhi mehsus nahi kia.

Ek hafta ho chala tha. Issi beech Raju aur Hemant bhi ghar aye the. Dono ne yakeen dilaya ki wo kisi se kuchh nahi kahenge. Iss ek hafte me jab koi halchal nahi hui toh Dheeraj ka yakeen bhi apne doston pr lautne laga.

Dheeraj ne school jana shuru kar diya. Koi halchal nahi. Logon ke liye baat aayi aur gayi ho gai. Lekin Dheeraj ko waqt laga apni zindagi ko wapis patri pr lane me.

Dushehre ke din the. School ke aangan me Ramleela ka manchan ho raha tha. Kaikayi kop-bhawan me ja baithi thi. Raja Dashrath apne pyare Raam ke liye gidgida rahe the. Har saal Dheeraj ko Kaikayi ki iss harkat pr bahut gussa ata tha lekin iss baar wo usse nafrat nahi kar paya.  Uske liye kaikayi ka ye gunah bardashat se baahar tha lekin aaj wo use maaf kar raha tha.  Jaise koi sathi dhundh raha ho ki koi use bhi maaf karne wala ho. Lekin wo gunah jo kabhi samne aya hi nahi  kaise maaf kiya ja sakta tha. Uski toh sirf saza hi hoti hai. Aur uss saza ka naam hai – APRAADH BODH. Ye saza Dheeraj ko todhe ja rahi thi.Taadka,Meghnaad, Ravan sabh ek ek karke mare. Aaj Dheeraj ko inse sahanubhuti thi. Itne mahaan yug me paida hokar bhi inke karam inhe le doobe. Dheeraj inme khud ko dekhne laga tha. Tabhi jaise uski chetna lauti. Use laga ki agar yunhi chalta raha toh wo apne andar ke ek behtar insaan ko kho dega. Wo iss kataar me shaamil nahi hona chahta tha. Ghar pahunch kar usne sabse pehale Jhumke ko pichhale saal ki kitaabon ke dher se baahar nikaala(yahan usne jhumka chhupa rakha tha). Raat bhar apni antaraatma ki pairwi khud se ki.

Chhuttiyan thi ,Aabha Mam apne ghar par hi milti. Isliye subeh hote hi Dheeraj unke ghar ke liye rawana ho gya. Ghar jyada dur nahi tha. Raste me ek pul padta tha. Bas uss ek pul ko paar karne me use aadha ghanta lag gya. Use khudko Aabha Mam ke swalon ke liye taiyar karna tha. Idhar se udhar, udhar se idhar chehalkadami hoti rahi lekin samajh nahi paya ki kya kahe wo mam se. Aur isse pehale ki uske iraade hawa ho jayein usne pul paar karna hi theek samjha.

Doorbell bajaai. Jisne darwaza khola Dheeraj use nahi pehchanta tha. Dheeraj ne Aabha Mam ke bare me puchha. Mam kitchen me kuchh kaam kar rahi thi isiliye Dheeraj ko bhi wahin bula liya. Mam ne aane ka kaaran pucha lekin Dheeraj talmatol hi karta raha. Idhar udhar ki baatein bahut ki usne lekin asal baat tak aate aate use muddat lag gai. Kishmish ka aakhiri dana bhi khatam ho gya lekin wo pehala lafz ab tak nahi nikla jinke chalte wo yahan tak pahuncha  tha. Mam ne use aur kishmish diye khane ko. Unhe pata tha Dheeraj ko kishmish bahut pasand hain. Irada toh kar liya tha lekin Mam ka ye apnapann khona nahi chahta tha Dheeraj. Use khud se ghinn aane lagi thi. Ek hath jeb me hi pada tha. Aur uss hath me band ek amanat.

Dheeraj ne saans rok kar hath jeb se baahar nikaala. Band mutthi khuli toh ek jhumka tha. Mam ne Jhumka hath me liya aur fir Dheeraj ko hairani se dekha .

“ Chaaras!! ” itni kahani pad kar Dheeraj jab meri taraf mudha toh sirf itna hi keh paya. Mujhe andaza ho gya tha ki Dheeraj kahan pahuncha hai.

“  Uss din Mam ko Jhumka wapis nahi kar paya tha main.” Dheeraj ne mujhe yaad dilate hue kaha.

“ yaad hai mujhe. Lekin mai soch raha tha…..”

“ soch magar ye mat soch. Itne saal baad bhi agar mai apni galti nahi maan saka toh toh kya fark reh jayega aaj me aur tab me. ” Dheeraj ne meri baat beech me kaat te hue kaha.

“uss din mai chupchap wapis aa gya tha Mam ke ghar se. Aaj agar ye baat yaad bhi aati hai toh mujhe muh chhupaane ki jagah nahi milti. Sochta hu agar uss din wo jhumka wapis kar diya hota toh aaj jarur ek behtar insaan hota. Chaaras agar Aabha Mam se tu mila hota toh shayad mere Apradh-bodh ki gehraai ko samjh pata.” Dheeraj itna keh kar ruka. Mujhe samjh nahi aya kya kahu toh maine sir hila diya.

“  Pul pr wapisi me ek ghanta lgaya maine. Nadi me patthar fenkte fenkte jab preshan ho gya toh uthakar jhumka bhi paani me de maara. Aur uske baad chah kar bhi Mam ke paas wapis nahi laut sakta tha. ” Dheeraj ki aankhein garaj rahi thi.

“ Mai samajh sakta hun. Tu fikar naa kar ye meri kahani nahi hai, teri zindagi hai. Jaise tu chahega waise hi likhi jayegi.” Maine uski peeth thapthapa kar kaha.

“  Hmmmmm!”  

Ek lambi khamoshi humare darmiyaan chha gai. Uski aankhon me shayad purani tasveerin chal rahi thi.

“Mujhe kabhi kabhi lagta tha ki unhe sab kuchh pta hai. Bas mujhe mauka de rahin thi ki mai samne aaun. Kubul karu apni galti. Wo mujhe zaleel nahi karna chahti thi. Isliye intazar kar rahin thi mere sach bolne ka. Kya wo mujhe maaf kar paai hongi?” Dheeraj ka ye sawal mujhse jyada apne aap se tha.

“ Tu ab unse maafi kyu nahi maang leta? Kuchh toh dil halka hoga.” Maine sawal bhi kiya aur salaah bhi di.

Deewar ke kone se Dheeraj ki nazar hatne ka naam nahi le rahi thi. Itna khamosh use maine pehale kabhi nahi dekha tha.

“ wo ab iss duniya me nahi hain. Pichhale mahine accident hua unka aur….” Dheeraj ki awaz dabti chali gai.

Kamre me Sannata aur gehra ho gya. 

“ Tune…bataya….nahi… mujhe…pehale…” meri awaz haklati chali gai.

Zindagi ke kitne hi mauko pr hum lachar ho jate hain. Koi aisa modh bhi aata hai jiske aage koi rasta nahi hota. Jab mai itna lachar mehsus kar raha tha toh Dheeraj ki takleef ka andaza toh sehaz hi lag sakta hai. Apradh-bodh ki  jis gehraai ki baat Dheeraj kar raha tha, wo ab jakar mujhe mili thi. Mai toh sirf ek kahani samjh kar use badal raha tha lekin ab jakar mujhe ehsas  hua ki apradh toh mujhse ho chala tha. ye mehaz ek kahani nahi thi, balki ek aisa dastavez thi jisne mujhe zindagi ka aaina dikha diya. Kabhi kabhaar hum sachmuch bahut lachar ho jate hain.

Kafi der tak hum yunhi baithe rahe. Dheeraj apne aap me hi kahin gum tha. Mai tab tak kahani ke aakhiri panne ke na jane kitne tukde kar chuka tha.

 Fir chuppi todhte hue Dheeraj ne hi kaha “chal tujhe kishmish wale samose khilaata hun.”

Kehne ke sath hi wo kamre se baahar nikal gya. Bina mere jawab ka intzar kiye. Use jane ki jaldi bilkul nahi thi. Bas aankhon me aansuon ko aur thodi der thaamna mushkil ho gya tha.

INN AKELI RAAHON KO

Inn akeli raahon ko sath jo tera mil gya,

Meri taqdeer se ek-ek shakhs jal gya.

Teri aankhon ne yun toh koi kasar nahi rakhi,

Jane kya tha jo mai gir kar bhi sambhal gya.

Sabhi bane firte hain yun toh hamdum mere,

Magar jo bhi aya..muskura kar nikal gya.

Kuchh khaas toh kaha nahi tune lekin,

Tere labon pr aakar hr matlab badal gya.

Kabhi roya nahi tha “Chaaras” kisi bhi surat me,

Tere aansuo se magar mom sa pighal gya.

MAA

Meri tanhaiyon mein ab koi nahi aata,

Mere gumsum hone par bhi nahi hasaata.

Mai gungunata rehta hun aaj bhi waise hi,

Koi aakar magar awaz nahi milaata.

Koi nahi jo meri shararat samjhe,

Hasna-ruthna-manaana, ab kuch nahi bhaata.

Ek ghar ki kami khalti hai roz ke roz ,

Bura lagta hai-kyu mai dhaant nahi khaata.

Bukhaar se tapi unn raaton me Maa,

Lori kaun si thi? Wo geet kya tha?

AFSOS KE PANNO SE (STORY)

Pyar tab nahi hua tha, jab tumhe pehali baar dekha tha. Pyar toh tab hua tha jab lagaa ki ye aakhiri mulakat hai. Jo lamhe sath beet-te the wahi lamhe jab alag alag mile tab jaakr  jana ki tumhare bina kuchh bhi pana mumkin nahi. Pehali mulakat ne khushi di ho ya na di ho ,aakhiri mulakat me itni takleef hogi mujhe andaaza bhi nahi tha.

Pyar tab nahi hua tha, jab tumhare sath din bhar shehar ki sadakein naap rahaa tha.Pyar toh tab hua jab raat ko aakhiri baar tumhe apni manzil pr chhoda tha. Wo mausam mere zehan me aaj bhi zinda hai. Rikshe wale se tumhara wo mol-bhaav mujhe aaj bhi yaad hai.Muje lga tha tum sirf mujh se hi behas karti ho.Shayad hi koi sardi aisi aye jab mujhe uss halki halki thand me rikshe ki wo thithuran yaad naa aye.

pyar tab nahi hua tha jab tum facebook pr kabhi kabhar yunhi  online mil jaya karti thi. Pyar toh tab hua tha jab arsey baad maine humari puri conversation ek sath padi. Kaisi kaisi baatein karte the na hum. Naa sir naa pair. Bak bak bak bak.Pr khush the hum.

Pyar tab nahi hua tha jab tumne mujhse kaha,’ tum acha likh lete ho’. Pyar toh tab hua tha jab meri har ghazal tumhari shaql lene lagi. Kagaz pr utaara har ek lafz tumne hi mujhe saunpa hai.Waqt laga mujhe samjhane me.

Mujhe afsos hai, pehali mulakat me hath milaya ho na ho, aakhiri mulakat me jarur milaana chahiye tha . Chahker bhi mai khud ko tumhe pyar karne se rok nahi paya. Aur fir chaah kar bhi tumhe bataa nahi paya.Haan afsos hai mujhe iss baat ka.

Mujhe afsos hai , halki halki baarisho ke uss mausam me kitni khubsurat lag rahi thi tum, kash tumhe btaya hota. Tumhe dekhkar wo ek geet jo baar-baar zehan me aa raha tha ,kash gungunaya hota.

Mujhe afsos hai, facebook se jaldi offline ho jane ka,sirf yahi soch kar ki kahin mai tumhare aur kareeb naa ajaun. Kareeb aakr dur jana, dur reh kar dur jana, Takleef dono me hi hai, mgr afsos sirf ek me.

Mujhe afsos hai, ye nahi keh pane ka ki ye meri gazal mere geet ye sab tum hi toh ho,mai nahi. Mai aur meri kalam dono maamuli hain. Tum ho wo khaas cheez  jise sunkr log waah waah karte hain. Mai toh sirf takhallus me hu, har misre me toh tum hi tum ho.

Pyar tab nahi hua tha,uss trip me jab mujhe chhod kar baki sabhi ko kahin naa kahin jana tha. Pyar toh tab hua tha jab sabki perwaah kiye bagair tum mere sath hotel me ruki rahi.Dhakke maar maar kr tumne mujhe nahane bheja tha. Aur haan uss dauraan tum wo jo apna favourite song sun rahi thi wo mera bhi pasandeeda hai.Pr mai ye bta kar tumko,tum se jyada khud ko,yakeen nahi dilana chahta tha ki tum aur mai ek jaise hain.

Wo ek zulfon ki dori jo tumhare chehare pe utar aai thi maine anjane me hataane ki koshish ki thi.Tab mujhe ehsaas hua tha ki schmuch tumhari maujoodgi se mere hosh gair-hazir ho jate hain. Tum toh itminaan se khud ko apne libaas me pesh karti thi lekin mai nakaab dhundhta tha,iss darr se ki kahin mere chehare se mai bayaan naa ho jaun.Jo baatein shayd tumhare liye khatm ho gai hain wahi baatein mere pass na jane kitni baar laut laut kar aai hain.

Pyar tab nahi hua tha jab hum unn meelon faili sadko pr ek shaam sath chal rahe the. Pyar toh tab hua tha jab hum chalte chalte rasta bhatak gaye.Tumhe yaad hai ki tumne usse theek pehale kya kaha tha? Tumne kaha tha ki tumhe rasta pta hai.kitna hanse the hum iss baat par.Ab pta nahi kyu toh sahi rasto pr chalkar bhi khushi nahi mil pati. Kyun toh manzil-dr-manzil koi rahatein nazar nahi aati.

Aur haan!pyar tab nahi hua tha jab achanak sadak paar karte hue tumne mujhe rok lia tha,wo tezi se daudti laal car mujhe dikhi nahi thi.Pyar toh tab hua tha jab sadak paar karte karte tumne mera hath thaam lia tha.Pta nahi tumhe mehfoos hona tha ya mujhe mehfoos karna tha.

Pyar tab nahi hua tha,jab mai uss sarabor fountain ke sath tumhari photos kinch rahaa tha. Pyar toh tab hua tha jab tumne camera kisi aur ko pakda kr mujhe bhi frame me kheench lia tha.

Aaj palat kar piche dekhta hun toh afsos hi dikhta hai.Mai hi tha jo tumhe apni zindgi me lane se katra raha tha. Haan mai hi tha jisne tumhe bhi aisa karne se roka tha. Uss din tumne kaha tum mujhse pyar karti ho, yahi mujhe bhi kehna tha. Pr mujhe apne pyar se jyada haalaaton ki fikar thi.Mujhe nahi pta tha ki meri zindagi mujhe kis taraf le jane wali hai. Mai swarthi ya matlabi nahi tha, bas bahut kamzor tha. Mujhe bharosa nahi tha khud pr. Maine socha Mere sath tumhare wo sapne kabhi pure nahi honge jo tumne sanjoye the. Mera rasta mujhe humesha mushkil hi dikhai diya.Mujhe tumhe apne safer me shamil karne ki himmat nahi thi. Pr aaj lagta hai ki tum kamzor nahi thi. Tum me mujh se kahiin jyada hausala tha. Hausala tha pyar karne ka, hausala tha ye sweekar karne ka. Waqt laga mujhe ye samjhne me ki tumhare bina kisi manzil pr pahunchane se kahin behtar tumhare sath ajnabi raahon me bhatak jana hai.

Mujhe pta hai itne saalo baad ye baat kehna  raakh me aag jalaane jaisa hai. Magar mujhe iss gunah se koi parhez nahi. Ye gunah uss bojh ke samne kuchh bhi nahi jo itne saal maine apne seene pr laadha hai. Aur mujhe ye bhi pta hai ki meri wajah se tumhe kitni takleef uthaani padi hai. Tumhara gunehgar hu mai,mai manta hun. Pr ek baar tumhara samna jarur karna chahta hun. Chahe tumhari nafrat hi jhelne, ek baar tumse milna chahta hu. Do hi suratein hain mere paas , ya toh mai in afsos ke panno ko jala dun ya yunhi humesha ki tarah inki lgaai aag me jalta rahun. Raakh hone se pehle mujhe itna hi kehna hai ki ho sake toh maaf kar dena mujhe. Aur agar na kar sako toh chahe umar bhar badduaon me yaad karna magr chup mat rehna. Lafzon ki chot se kahin gehari Chuppi ki takleef hoti hai. Tumse behtar ye baat aur kaun samjh sakta hai.

Oh!maaf karna!Barso baad bhi tumhe rulaane hi aya hun .Wada karta hu aaj ke baad kabhi nahi rulaunga.  Bas ek baar aur mujhe muskurane ka mauka de do.

Acha suno…. Ek jaruri baat toh puchhna hi bhul gya.

Shadi wadi toh nahi kar li na!!

Nahi! Tumhe ache se janta hun mai. Tum apne wade nahi todhti.

Tumhare reply ka intzar rahega. Ho sake toh mt karwana intzar.

Tumhara…. Gaurav.